What you learn as a fashion intern

1. Your job description includes assembling IKEA shelves, scrubbing the bathtub, scooping cat poop, counting size pips for 9 hours, and keeping a straight face while standing in front of a male model and pulling up his pants. 

2. Fashion bosses (e.i. head designers, head of departments, editor-in-chiefs, creative directors, head buyers, etc) can get away with a level of eccentricity that cannot be fathomed. At one place I interned, my boss always had to have fresh flowers in her hair. Freshly-picked, every morning.

3. You'd be naive to think you'll be paid, and go home on time. And because you so badly want to make it that you don't say no. You just want to keep your head down and work. You're so enthralled to be in the presence of these people and you want them to remember you, and you don't say no because then you'll be blackballed. That's just how the industry has operated for a really long time.

4. If your boss is a total Devil Wears Prada, don't take it personally. Just do your job and then vent to all your friends (or tumblr) about it.

5. Everybody looks fabulous and has fresh, flawless skin. HOW DO THEY DO IT?! It must be a secret I have yet to learn.

6. Somebody in your intern group will be flamboyantly gay. Or have a coke problem. Or is a Satan-worshipper. Or is a total bossy-boot and act like they're the one in charge.

7. Steaming and ironing is an art form only few can master.

8. Be 10 steps ahead of your boss, otherwise you suck as an intern.

9. You cannot be starstruck. It's not cool. Feigning indifference is key. Elle McPherson is in the office? Big deal. Miranda Kerr? Miranda who? Sending dress out to Nikki Minaj? Okay, whatever.

10. Everyday is a holiday. Begin all emails with "Happy ________!!!"

11. Everything needs to be done IMMEDIATELY or the world will come to an end.

12. Everybody will hate you if you bring any fried food into the office. One time, I brought some hot chips (i.e. french fries) and gosh, did I get some serious high fashion side-eye.

13. Fashion people don't like timid people. So don't be nervous. I self-hypnotise that I am emotionally bulletproof.

14. You will make mistakes. You will make a hundred mistakes. You will get yelled at for said mistakes. You will get yelled at a hundred times. Don't quit, or you'll look weak.

15. If you don't want to waste time/energy/emotional stress, get coffee orders right the first go. If she says "steaming hot", make sure it is actually too hot to touch, and use a cup-holder to carry it.  If she says "four ice", she means "four ice cubes that are still cubes and floating, even if you have to walk a few blocks in the heat wave to deliver her non-fat iced latte."

16. People are going to gossip. Don't gossip back.

17. You need good friends that aren't necessarily in the industry that you really trust to keep you sane. Sometimes the experience is so outrageous, the kind of things interns couldn't tell their personal circles about. It's very belittling.

On being nocturnal

Uberfacts on twitter tweeted "People who stay up later at night are likely to be more intelligent than those who go to bed early." Thus, empowering(?) me to write this post about being nocturnal, and the persecutions that come with not being a jolly morning person.

In theory, I get it. I get the whole "daylight is the time we get our stuff done". But to the famous white man in a curly white wig who centuries ago came up with, "The early bird gets the worm", I have to say "Nay good sir, the early bird doesn't get to lay in bed, play with his iPhone, listen to music, check his email, and sip coffee. The phrase sucks!" This is why the lives of night owls like myself are open for public shaming. I can rise and shine. Just not at the same time. Aside from having "hating-life"-mornings to deal with when between the hours of 6 and 10 a.m., I’m just trying to get my bearings in a world that is at least 3 shades too bright and won’t stop making loud, unfriendly noises.

Then there always a Miss/Ms/Mr/Mrs. I-go-jogging-at-six-every-morning who will be like, "Geez, long night last night?" Um, well. All of my nights are long, morning people. Not because I was out clubbing, but my brain seems to be over-active at the hours between 11pm and 3am. It's the time I want to talk, to read, to blog about the meaning of life, to jump on the bed, to make tea, to catch up on Downton Abbey, to eat pistachio nuts, to keep track of  #GoslingWatch on twitter, to play with my cats (also nocturnal animals), and to cry over The Pianist soundtrack. (Not to mention the 25 other things that keep me up at night.) That doesn't mean that I'm trying intentionally to stay up past my bedtime, it means I'm a prisoner to my own internal clock.

Yes, I have accepted that society demands of me a relatively early start time. And yes, I have given myself over to the idea that I will be running on society's schedule, and not my own. All I ask is that morning people, be kind to night owls. We're not usually this grumpy. (We might just be a bit more intelligent than you.)

I should marry Bruce Wayne. He's definitely a night person.

Confessions: The Turning Twenty-four Edition

1. It's the job of every twenty-somethings to feel old.

2. I'd still rather eat anything saturated with sugar for breakfast.
3. I'd trade partying with a cup of tea and a book. (Just typing that sentence made me feel so old, I swear my fingers started to feel arthritic around the words "cup of tea".)

4. I still get pimples.

5. Sometimes my body aches. Like for no apparent reason.

6. I am still looking for friends.

7. I understand more jokes. Like when I watched The Lion King recently, I got all the jokes, and the deep stuff, that I never remembered seeing.

8. I still cry. Way more.

9. People appreciate the things that make me different.

10. I realise it's all about who you know not what you know.

11. I lick my fingers to turn the pages of a book. I used to think it was gross. Now it comes naturally.

12. It's now illegal for me to drive without contacts or glasses.
13. I wake up looking like my driver's license photo. Eww.

14. I'm still completely delighted by Starbucks Christmas cups every year.

15. I have daily moments of nostalgia. Almost anything can trigger it. And it kills me.
16. I'm sad I have not taken enough risks with my youth.
17. That taut young body I once took for granted in high school is disintegrating before my eyes.

18. I've learnt that the definition of bravery is having diarrhoea and chancing a fart
19. I complain about "kids these days blah.. tween these days blah blah" (By all account, I'm not that old, but that doesn't stop me from complaining about teenagers.)
20. I've perfected the Irish goodbye. It's a move you pull when you're at a gathering/party/bar/event/etc and because you're a tired (physically & psychologically) old soul, you slink away into the corner, then RUN out the door when nobody's looking. 

Signs you seriously need more sleep

This week, I'm paying off my sleep debt, while going through painful, painful, painful caffeine withdrawals, and recovering from my consecutive all-nighters. And being a OCL (that's obsessive compulsive list-maker), I've come up with this -"Signs you seriously need more sleep". Because it was the story of my life.

1. Your under-eye dark circles luckily mistaken for a sexy, new make-up choice.
2. You confuse things with what happened in dreams two months ago.
3. Your skin feels dryer than a camel's hoof, your hair is a bird's nest, and smells like dry shampoo.
4. You eyelids feel like they're being pulled down by weights, like in cartoons.
5. You day dream that people will one day evolve from away from sleep.
6. You cry over small things, like missing the train, because you're so exhausted and frustrated.
7. Your pillow hasn't had a head-sized dent in weeks.
8. Your vision gets blurry, like Monet paintings.
9. Your brain is caffeine and sugar sodden.
10. Your nastiest guilty fantasy involves fluffy pillows, soundproof room, and passing out for uninterrupted days.
11. You think that you might just slip into a coma.
12. You're on some kind of high at 4am, and find yourself ROTFLMAO-ing at your friend's ex's friend's wedding photos on Facebook. (I swear I'm not usually that terrible of a person!)
13. You feel slightly comforted when you ask fellow students in your degree "Do you sleep?" and they respond with a quizzical frown, "Sleep? What is sleep?" #Godblessourcreativesouls 

Tweet me if this is you @K_NaomiLee

Things I do after drinking 2 energy drinks.

1. Go to class/lecture/tutorial.
2. Take a nap. Years of consuming an unreasonably large volume of caffeinated drinks have taken a steady toll on my physiology. I’m at the point now where I can drink two cans and then promptly head off to bed. Of course, the sleep I experience is a fitful experience punctuated by episodes of coming awake, nightmares about large tropical flowers, and confusing dreams with reality.
3. Be inspired to post blog entries like this one you're reading.
4. Cackle like a witch. (Unforunately that is how I laugh.) To my sugar and caffeine sodden brain, everything is hilarious.
5. Stalk all my friends and friends' friends and friends' boyfriends and girlfriends and their cousins on Facebook.
6. TV series/soap download spree.
7. Bake up a storm. Scones, shortbread, cookies, muffins etc.
8. Go to the art museum alone. Abstract art begin to make more sense then.

Tips from an expert consecutive all-nighter-er.

I am a self-proclaimed expert and experienced in pulling consecutive all-nighters, yet to people's wonder, still remain fresh-faced. In the last six days, I've only slept in my bed TWICE! I believe this isn't uncommon to people involved in design industries (there's a reason it's called architorture). So, here's my tip on successfully (yet unhealthily) hacking your sleep during those high-pressure times. But do remember that, it takes you a few days to a week, to fully recover from fatigue, and pay off sleep debt.

1. Throw everything on your bed. Anything! And the sharper or more fragile the objects, the better! So, not your cat, toilet paper, and clothing. This is so that you won't fall into the temptation of the seductress that is your bed. No cats, because during moments of insanity, which you're bound to have, you'll become mad and extremely jealous of your cat that is curling up on your very bed and feel immense self-pity. So chuck on the bed those blenders, tea pots, picture frames, suitcases, guitars, shoehorns, lamps, corn chips, iPads, scissors, etc.

2. Stock up on sugar. Eat more food to compensate for sleep deprivation. If you're not going to get energy from sleep, get it from chocolate. See Exhibit H. 

Exhibit H

3. Tell your family and friends to leave you alone. But still be active on Facebook/instagram/twitter.

4. Take 25-minute caffeine naps. No, not power naps, caffeine naps! Down an espresso and set your alarm for no more than 30 minutes. Because caffeine takes awhile to start having an affect, when you wake up the caffeine has kicked into full gear. Woo!

5. Music can be a life saver during an all nighter. Pick some music that's loud enough to keep you awake, but calm enough to not be a distraction. I also listen to empowering and encouraging Podcasts all throughout the night and morning, like "Your best days are ahead of you!"

6. Parcetamol and antihistamines are your friends. This unlikely friendship forms only because after a couple of days, fatigue brings a little stubborn friend along, the headache.

7. Colourful make-up.  Because "wow, you look tired" isn't exactly a compliment. Don bright lipstick and blush to add colour to your dull vampire skin. Et voila!

8. Always know that there's more to life than study, college, assignments, and presentations.