I am 23, going on 13

This has almost nothing to do with the Sound of Music. Let me just say that apparently I’m 30 going on 13. I don’t know what happened but I’ve suddenly broken out like a pubescent teenager. Mind you, I was blessed with clean and clear skin all throughout my high school years. Hormones, stress, perhaps my new foundation? It's kind of good news because I was terribly worried, no feared, that I was asexual or had the "gift was singleness", but apparently. Seems like my hormones have have pumping, and I've become more... perverted? Noticing things my innocent eyes have never quite caught... like adam's apples... and thighs. 

Fangirling and giggling over pubescent boys.
Daydreaming about pretending to be a boy at a all boys school /dorm to the beautiful you-she's the man style.
Everybody goes through a rebellious stage as a teenager. I never had that. I'm going through it now.

I love it when male idols are asked who their ideal types are. It makes me absolutely giddy. It makes me want to call up my best friend and tell her exactly how I sorta, kinda fit into my bias’ ideal box. It’s embarrassing, yes. But before the rational, analytical part of me goes crazy coming up with reasons why the concept of ideal types is ridiculous and frivolous, I remind myself that it’s okay to fangirl because K-pop is just that: ridiculous and frivolous.

Text Messages from 2012 I will never delete

During pre-smart-phones era, I had a Nokia that saved all data in a sim card, but could only hold a limited amount. This meant, once in a while I had to aggressively discard data to receive new ones. And of course, there were always some texts that I refuse to erase! If today, say I had to go through that agonising process (an opportunity to reflect on the past year), these are some of the texts I would save because of personal reasons:

• It's freakin scary walking back at this time. in this area. Wish I had a get-out-of-rape-free card.

• I realized today that my "fat jeans" have become just jeans.

• I wouldnt want you to change from the very core of your being no? And 'just the way you are' not merely a song...

• Our friendship would transcend time, space and fictional universe! Lol

• Thats it. Get your infrared binoculars and coffee. We are pitching our tent outside Gosling's penthouse. Fanboying hard right now.

• And you know what the best spell is? Obliviate. If something hurts us we can simply erase that painful memory from our minds

• I need to watch a how to party video. Not even makeup. Just party.

• Can we do thanksgiving next year???

• Introverts unite!!!!!! .....Individually.

• Tumblr is down. I repeat, tumblr is down!!!!

• I shall live vicariously through your "pool" parties hahaha

• Sorry I didnt call you back. I had diarrhea splashed on the tie you picked out for me. All good now

• I sniffed my banana like a pervert before i took a bite

• I will be on tv, I will be your worried friend who has to do an interview. I'll cry and be like her teddy bear is taking her away!

• I know someone who has bipolar. You'll be fine. And never doubt your creativity! :)

• Oh wow... very proud of you for confronting reality. Pat on the back! So proud!

• word of advice, never be too nice to a guy, men are very simple creatures. u might break someone's heart one day. and u might get hurt too

• WTH My mum told me she was scared those hawking mothers were going to introduce you to their sons! WHAT WERE YOU WEARING?

• If you could harness all that vibrato in les mis, what could you do with it? could you power a city?

• I don't even have a vagina but I'll gladly see anything with Ryan Gosling in it. He's that good.

Male Muse: Roger Radcliffe

I watched 101 Dalmations (1961) last night, and this Disney classic has left me in a nostalgic coma. It's funny, watching something like this after  a decade and a half. I don't remember it being this upsetting while watching this as a kid, oh, but cry I did last night.

Also. I can't believe it has taken me all this time to realise how much of a cartoon babe Roger Radcliffe is. He's a bachelor music composer. He's funny. He's romantic. He loves dogs. He's kind. He's incredibly charming. He's tall (lean, long limbs!). He has nice hair (subjective). And he really rocks skinny slacks and sweater vests (not easy). I can't believe I've overlooked this insanely attractive songwriting hipster gentleman!

He's made me want to meet my future husband when our clever dogs' leashes tangle together in a park.

Confessions: The Turning Twenty-four Edition

1. It's the job of every twenty-somethings to feel old.

2. I'd still rather eat anything saturated with sugar for breakfast.
3. I'd trade partying with a cup of tea and a book. (Just typing that sentence made me feel so old, I swear my fingers started to feel arthritic around the words "cup of tea".)

4. I still get pimples.

5. Sometimes my body aches. Like for no apparent reason.

6. I am still looking for friends.

7. I understand more jokes. Like when I watched The Lion King recently, I got all the jokes, and the deep stuff, that I never remembered seeing.

8. I still cry. Way more.

9. People appreciate the things that make me different.

10. I realise it's all about who you know not what you know.

11. I lick my fingers to turn the pages of a book. I used to think it was gross. Now it comes naturally.

12. It's now illegal for me to drive without contacts or glasses.
13. I wake up looking like my driver's license photo. Eww.

14. I'm still completely delighted by Starbucks Christmas cups every year.

15. I have daily moments of nostalgia. Almost anything can trigger it. And it kills me.
16. I'm sad I have not taken enough risks with my youth.
17. That taut young body I once took for granted in high school is disintegrating before my eyes.

18. I've learnt that the definition of bravery is having diarrhoea and chancing a fart
19. I complain about "kids these days blah.. tween these days blah blah" (By all account, I'm not that old, but that doesn't stop me from complaining about teenagers.)
20. I've perfected the Irish goodbye. It's a move you pull when you're at a gathering/party/bar/event/etc and because you're a tired (physically & psychologically) old soul, you slink away into the corner, then RUN out the door when nobody's looking. 

Playlist for every occasion

Commute playlist - I love staring out the window of a car/bus/train and pretending I’m the lead in a movie and this is the opening scene as the title credits pop up in the corner (fade up to a wide shot of a train rolling over a landscape as we slowly zoom in to see a young woman looking out the window of the third car). And I can totally pull off staring blankly out of a window.

The Candles and Bath Salts mix - You're home, maybe getting in the mood. Get some smooth music - John Mayer, and maybe Jason Mraz too - and let the mood happen.

Rainy day compilations - A mix of dreamy acoustic and melancholy alternative tunes to accompany the sound of drizzling rain.

Les filles qui chantent en français - Sing along, ingest a box of macarons, and pretend you're in a Sofia Coppola commercial.

NYC mix

For my Future Husband mix

Road Trip playlist - This is radically different from stuff you would play when you drive alone. This is socially acceptable music that's great in the background, with the occasional group sing-along thrown in, pop, rock, ballads, anything from the 90's.

Being productive mix - For when you have deadlines to meet and need to stay focused.

Holiday Harmony - Stuff to listen to while you decorate the Christmas tree or bake gingerbread cookies.

"Chrismassy music that isn't about Christmas" mix - People who work in retail will appreciate it.

ULB (or "Universally loved bands") mix - One Republic, Coldplay, Radiohead, Muse, Maroon 5, The Smith, The Fray, The Killers, you know, bands who, at any party, you could remark "I love *insert band*" and you're guaranteed to hear responses like "We do too!", you know, bands who everybody likes or claims to like.

Sing Me To Sleep playlist - Songs to help you wind down and drift off. "Wonderful" by Gary Go will lull you to sleep.

Good morning, sunshine - Waking up to music is as awesome as falling asleep to it. I'm not much of a morning person, but when I've got some great music while I'm still on autopilot, it's made early mornings so much better.

"Beautiful" mix - Includes tracks like, "What makes you beautiful" by One Direction, "Beautiful" by B2st, the same title by Christina Aguilera, "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney, "What makes you different makes you beautiful" by Backstreet Boys, "Just the way you are" by Bruno Mars, "Nothin' on you" by B.o.b, "You are so beautiful" by Junsu, "Fireworks" by Katy Perry... you get the gist. Because admit it or not, you like to be told.

Adventure: The soundtrack - Music to accompany your adventures and travels in a foreign territory.

The Unrequited Loved mix

Winter Pick Me Up mix - Upbeat songs to beat the winter blues.
Study playlist - Fact 1: Without decent music there's no way you'd get through your homework, essays and revision. Fact 2: Songs with lyrics distract the part of your brain which you use to repeat things to yourself when you're learning. The Solution: Lyricless compositions, film soundtracks and piano covers.

All Nighter mix - Unlike the Study playlist which is a bit too relaxing (because it was to help creative juices to flow), this soundtrack should consist of mid-tempo music to help you power through the wee hours. I recommend a mix of late night ambiance and study break freak out material, with broadway music like "Defying Gravity" from Wicked.

The Jazz Age playlist

Cry, baby - Tear-jerkers. Sob, let it out. Hurt right along with the music.

Old School R&B mix

Modelling playlist - Throw on some heels and walk around like you mean it. Perfect for when cleaning out your wardrobe.

60's Lounge - Inspired by Mad Men and Pan Am soundtracks.

Girl Power - Butt-kicking, girl power anthems by Shania Twain, Destiny's Child, Pink, and Christina Aguilera. Maybe something from the Charlie's Angel soundtrack too. 

Nostalgia mix

Weekend Walk About mix - Music for you wanderings.

Work out playlist

Coffee Croons and Tea Tunes

New Age Pianists mix - Yiruma, Yuhki Kuramoto, David Lanz, Keiko Matsui, Jon Schmidt, Keith Jarret, and Ryuichi Sakamoto.

Kpop mix - Because the Korean wave is taking over the world. Get with it.

British Bands mix

First Love mix - The audio equivalent of a romance novel.

Getting Dressed mix - A list of high-energy songs to get you psyched for the night out.

Party mix

"I know all the words to" mix

"Be Impressed With My Music Taste" mix - I might be alone here, but I'm constantly around hipsters and music snobs who listen to my playlist, and immediately judge me on my music taste. ("Is that Kpop?!") Now, though, I'm ready for them with my "awesomely interesting intellectual music". Staples of these playlists are MGMT, Belle & Sebastian, Pink Floyd, Grizzly Bear, Regina Spektor (both popular and yet well-respected as indie still. Go figure.) Including also any big artists who did side solo projects like Thom Yorke of Radiohead.

Marc by Marc Jacobs Winter '12

These are favourite picks from Marc by Marc Jacobs show. If you've seen the 1999 classic She's All That, you'll know the geeky yet artsy girl in thrifted clothes just waiting to let her tightly-wound ponytail down and release the hidden beauty beneath. Having seen this show, I want to be wearing nothing but big pleated skirts, tailored blazers, blouses and specs.

source: greglewis.tumblr.com

Midnight in Paris

Today was a wonderfully rainy day, so naturally, I decided to snuggle up with Lulu the cat, download swing jazz music, and give Woody Allen another chance. And I'm glad I did. Midnight in Paris (2011) is a charming and sentimental film about a struggling novelist, Gil (Owen Wilson), a man who, like moi, also thinks rain makes everything beautiful, wanders the streets of Paris, and at every midnight, an antique car pulls up and transports him to the 1920's era. He encounters Cole Porter, Josephine Baker, Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Gertrude Stein, Pablo Picasso, T.S Eliot and Salvador Dalí (sexy Adrien Brody). And with his new found love he is further transported back to the 1890's Moulin Rouge where they meet Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, Paul Gauguin, and Edgar Degas! Oh my goodness, I love Edgar Degas! With so many funny lines by famous (dead) artists, writers, surrealists, I give this movie a rating of all the stars Vincent Van Gogh ever painted!


After the movie, I got thinking, I'd like to visit one of those "nostalgia shop" the modern characters talk about. And I'd also like to have a 'Midnight in Paris' moment too. Paris in the Jazz Age really does sound enticing, as does Paris in the 1940's - that's probably the one I'd pick. But I'd also be intrigued by Vienna circa 1900, London in the 1590's, first century Rome and New York City in 1960's. 
So, what is historical era would you like to visit?

Mixtape: NYC

This time last year, I was in New York City. The subway was crippled by snowpocalypse, the walk/don't walk signs read both, the homeless nights... Cue up a song like "Empire State of Mind," and I remember. By the way, who knew there were this many songs about New York?! But this playlist is very personal.

001 LET IT SNOW :: Frank Sinatra
002 UNDISCOVERED :: James Morrison
003 ALL THIS BEAUTY :: The Weepies
004 GIRL INFORM ME :: The Shins
005 NE ME QUITTE PAS :: Regina Spektor

006 THE ONLY LIVING BOY IN NEW YORK :: Simon & Garfunkel

007 TWENTYSOMETHING :: Jamie Cullum
008 MAKE IT MINE : Jason Mraz
009 THE HEART OF LIFE :: John Mayer
010 SHOW YOU HOW :: The Killers
011 OFF BROADWAY :: Ryan Adams
012 BACK TO MANHATTAN :: Norah Jones
013 LADY LIBERTY :: Okkervil River
014 OVERTURE / HANNIBAL :: Phantom of the Opera (Soundtrack)
015 FOR GOOD :: Wicked (Glee Cast version)

016 NOLITA FAIRYTALE :: Vanessa Carlton

017 SHE MOVES IN HER OWN WAY :: The Kooks
018 NEW YORK, NEW YORK :: Cat Power
019 SOMEWHERE IN MY MEMORY :: John Williams (Home Alone 2 Soundtrack)

020 A DANCE ROUND THE MEMORY TREE :: Oren Lavie
021 THE DISTRICT SLEEPS ALONE  TONIGHT :: The Postal Service

022 WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE LORD :: Shane Barnard & Shane Everett
023 ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE :: Darlene Zschech
024 EMPIRE STATE OF MIND : Jay Z & Alicia Keys

On being domesticated

I dream about my future marriage and future husband, and just my future in general. My Joseph Gordon-Levitt freelance writer/artist/designer/musician husband will work from home. I will be the passionate career woman, designing for an established fashion house, until my husband's talents get recognised and he gets his "big break" as a writer/artist/designer/musician. (e.i his artwork will be sold for $hundreds x thousands, or his novel will be adapted into a Peter Jackson film starring James McAvoy, or his ground-breaking innovative designs will be published and praised in Communication Arts, or he will be asked to compose scores alongside Hans Zimmer!) But 'til then, he works at home, housekeeps, walks the dog, pick up the kids from soccer practice, and make their afternoon tea, in between getting creatively (or better, divinely) inspired. I will be the naughty mommy that gets in trouble from the children's principal for excusing my children out of school and taking them to the zoo, on my day off work.


Notice, in this dream I don't ever enter the kitchen. I just could not, I can not imagine myself as a housewife. Me? *gasp* I spent too much blood, sweat, tears, money on my studies and to get to where I am!


But that's changed now. Things have changed. I've changed. Being 23-turning-24, a full-time student, and still living at home and leeching off my unfortunate parents (oh, the shame), I decided to do something to take their load off. And that's how I was underway to being domesticated, and actually, to my surprise, enjoying it. I wake up at 7am, grind coffee beans, juice fruits, toast toasts for the hard-working 'rentals. We joke and chat with Kari Jobe in the background. I kiss them goodbye, then clean up, wash up, do the laundry, and alter trousers, this time with Sara Bareilles, while thinking about cooking a healthy lunch, and fitting bed-jumping in between chores.


 I think I've tapped into something here. I think this is it. The ancient forgotten art of being a domesticated goddess. The joy that comes from people enjoying what you cook. The satisfaction of when the kitchen utensils are sitting in their right places. It's wonderful, really! So I'm slowing changing my mind. Maybe, I won't let my husband do all the housework. Maybe, I won't mind being a housewife. Just maybe, I would rival those hot 60's housewives on Mad Men. 


My future husband, my children with unisex names, and my brood of adopted teddy-bears are just going to adore me to bits!

Four words. Hugh Grant in glasses.

Have you seen Four weddings and a Funeral? Four words. Hugh Grant in glasses. Girls usually grow up and leave behind their little girl celebrity crushes, but I had never quite left Hugh behind. I could never get over the droopy blue eyes, clipped English accent, crinkly crows feet, topped with floppy brown hair, no. And he's the only person I know of, who is still irresistible with a slight underbite! (Underbites are so unattractive, sorry!)

And yet you won't believe this! A couple of weekends ago, I met a young man who resembled Hugh Grant, circa 1994! He wore a pair of round horn-rimmed glasses, and he even had those kind droopy eyes! And I saw him twice after that! Who are you, young man? And yet I hate my heart for skipping a beat, because he did look pretty young. Oh, like, 17, 18 young. And I am quite old, like, old-er. So, yeah.

Romeo + Juliet

Desiree's Kissing You came up on my iTunes. In the name of nostalgia, I decided to DIY dip-dye my hair! Oh, and watch Romeo + Juliet. (DIY dip-dye was an epic fail. Just looks like my roots are long overdue for a touch up. Like six month overdue.)

The ultimate love story: two crazy kids fall in love and kill themselves. I remember reading the play as a kid but I didn’t completely fall in love with the play until I  watched Baz Lurhmann’s version of Romeo + Juliet (1996). I just couldn’t believe that the incredibly cute boy from Growing Pains, and that girl from My So-called Life was dead. Well, dead in the movie. Here’s why you must watch it again:

1. Leonardo DiCarprio and Claire Danes, two adorable actors, when they both had baby faces.
2. John Leguizamo as Tybalt. Doesn’t he have the perfect villain face?
3. The soundtrack is great! I still listen to it to this day! Every overly-emotional girl (during time-of-month) in the ’90s overplayed it. I'm pretty sure!
4. The infamous fish tank scene. It's super romantic. Like, Leo makes you believe love at first sight is possible. That first glance!

I've also heard, over the grape-vine, that Leonardo Dicarprio is purchasing a property in Sydney! The stalker in me rejoices!