Sunday, February 19, 2012

My wiser and wider self musing on life

This is going to sound like the musings of an incredibly odd person, who is in bed, eating pistachio nuts and mozzarella cheese, while watching Cyrano de Bergerac (1990) but having to constantly rewind because I want to repeat funny French phrases (such an amusing film!), but...
Life is so very weird, yet fascinating. For example, I now both eat and enjoy the taste and scent of coriander. And I've gotten accustomed to celery. Only in juice for now. But who knows, soon I'll be dipping celery sticks in onion dip. But you get what I’m saying? Big news. Life is funny, it’s like, one minute you’re on Knick's reserve bench, and the next you sweep the world with Linsanity. (I actually love him! He's Lincredible!) You know? The funny thing about life is that things don’t seem to change day by day. You wake up and think, I have to do this same stuff again. But when you think really far back, there was a time when you weren’t doing that stuff. Somehow everything changed. 

A lot has changed for me within the past year. I've seemed to have grown, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and sideways. I even look different physically, in that my waistband has expanded, I have an extra chin, and I've almost given up on my hair. And my head constantly hurts. I think it’s because beneath my skin, is a layer of fat, And beneath my fat, is a fine layer of fear and stress.

I just want to know what’s going to happen. Where will I be next year? Actually, no, that’s too far ahead. Where will I be next month? God, can you spoiler alert my life? I can't spend tomorrow's money, celebrate tomorrow's achievement, or resolve tomorrow's riddles. But I have today. My wiser (and wider, LOL) self is telling me to stress less, trust more, and be grateful. Resolve to do the same the next day, and the next, and the next. Days become weeks, weeks become months, months become years. Building life, one good day at a time. Yes, that's what I'll do...

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