Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Things I need to stop doing in 2013

Instead of new year resolutions I don't keep, usually because I forget about it by February, I made a list of things I should STOP doing (for the new-improved-tight-arsed-me):

1. Buying bottled water. I've probably spend as much money on bottled water as my phone bill last year. It has got to stop.

2. Forgetting to use my loyalty cards. I always forget to hand over my loyalty cards to punch off my purchase, which can lead to a FREE!!! something. I'm not made of money, and can not just nonchalantly ignore these cards. I know I'll be the annoying butt-crack to the person behind waiting, but I won't care. In 2013, I will find the card! And save the money!

3. Ordering overpriced salads. I swear, I order a salad with like four ingredients, and I'm paying $19. This year I will make my own salads.

4. Forgetting to actually take the cash out of the ATM machine and walking away (my idiocy has caused me to do this countless times), for a passing druggie to pocket it for more drugs, and overdose and collapse in a gutter. For his sake! I will remember to take the money I withdraw!

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Text Messages from 2012 I will never delete

During pre-smart-phones era, I had a Nokia that saved all data in a sim card, but could only hold a limited amount. This meant, once in a while I had to aggressively discard data to receive new ones. And of course, there were always some texts that I refuse to erase! If today, say I had to go through that agonising process (an opportunity to reflect on the past year), these are some of the texts I would save because of personal reasons:

  • It's freakin scary walking back at this time. in this area. Wish I had a get-out-of-rape-free card.

  • I realized today that my "fat jeans" have become just jeans.

  • I wouldnt want you to change from the very core of your being no? And 'just the way you are' not merely a song...

  • Our friendship would transcend time, space and fictional universe! Lol

  • Thats it. Get your infrared binoculars and coffee. We are pitching our tent outside Gosling's penthouse. Fanboying hard right now.

  • And you know what the best spell is? Obliviate. If something hurts us we can simply erase that painful memory from our minds

  • I need to watch a how to party video. Not even makeup. Just party.

  • Can we do thanksgiving next year???

  • Introverts unite!!!!!! .....Individually.

  • Tumblr is down. I repeat, tumblr is down!!!!

  • I shall live vicariously through your "pool" parties hahaha

  • Sorry I didnt call you back. I had diarrhea splashed on the tie you picked out for me. All good now

  • I sniffed my banana like a pervert before i took a bite

  • I will be on tv, I will be your worried friend who has to do an interview. I'll cry and be like her teddy bear is taking her away!

  • I know someone who has bipolar. You'll be fine. And never doubt your creativity! :)

  • Oh wow... very proud of you for confronting reality. Pat on the back! So proud!

  • word of advice, never be too nice to a guy, men are very simple creatures. u might break someone's heart one day. and u might get hurt too

  • WTH My mum told me she was scared those hawking mothers were going to introduce you to their sons! WHAT WERE YOU WEARING?

  • If you could harness all that vibrato in les mis, what could you do with it? could you power a city?

  • I don't even have a vagina but I'll gladly see anything with Ryan Gosling in it. He's that good.

I am 23, going on 13

This has almost nothing to do with the Sound of Music. Let me just say that apparently I’m 30 going on 13. I don’t know what happened bu...