Indication of my lack of willpower

1. I keep eating. 'til you lay my head on the pillow. And I can't stop eating salted pistachio nuts and kinder buenos.
2. I keep opening new tabs. On the internet. New tabs. I already have Gmail, Facebook, Stumbleupon, Blogger, Youtube, style.com, etc. open. There is not a tab that I can now open that I do not already have open. And I've been completely updated on each of my feeds. Which means that I have to start working on the thing that I’ve ostensibly been “working on” since I’ve opened your mac book. Wait — I'm opening a new tab! But have nowhere to go! 
3. I keep going out to eat. I have salad and kimchi and stew and frozen pizza and meatballs and chicken soup , and eating out costs like 400 percent more than eating in. Yet I’ve been having dinner out every night this week. And I'm already broke. I need to stop this. Or else it's goodbye to end-of-year trip.
4. I keep looking at the internet despite the fact that you’ve been looking at, ostensibly, ‘nothing,’ for the past hour. Just shut the laptop down. Just shut. It. Down. Look at you — you’ve been doing nothing! You’re just refreshing websites! Or googling "persimmons constipation". You could be finishing your masterpiece or answering that important email that is constantly at the back of your mind! You could be tweaking your portfolio or catching up with your friend! (This is Bearemy scolding me.) Technology has destroyed my willpower.
5. I keep watching youtube videos. I hop on a youtube train, and can't hop off. I have been watching reaction videos for the past hour...
6. I keep buying overpriced clothing. Whoa — a $65 t-shirt? A $170 shorts? Did I just temporarily convince myself that these purchases were totally justified and not at all putting me in danger of going destitute and living the rest of me life in a cold, miserable halfway house? We’re on a budget, woman! What are you doing? You need money for that Asia trip you're planning on!

Things I need to stop doing in 2013

Instead of new year resolutions I don't keep, usually because I forget about it by February, I made a list of things I should STOP doing (for the new-improved-tight-arsed-me):

1. Buying bottled water. I've probably spend as much money on bottled water as my phone bill last year. It has got to stop.

2. Forgetting to use my loyalty cards. I always forget to hand over my loyalty cards to punch off my purchase, which can lead to a FREE!!! something. I'm not made of money, and can not just nonchalantly ignore these cards. I know I'll be the annoying butt-crack to the person behind waiting, but I won't care. In 2013, I will find the card! And save the money!

3. Ordering overpriced salads. I swear, I order a salad with like four ingredients, and I'm paying $19. This year I will make my own salads.

4. Forgetting to actually take the cash out of the ATM machine and walking away (my idiocy has caused me to do this countless times), for a passing druggie to pocket it for more drugs, and overdose and collapse in a gutter. For his sake! I will remember to take the money I withdraw!

What you learn as a fashion intern

1. Your job description includes assembling IKEA shelves, scrubbing the bathtub, scooping cat poop, counting size pips for 9 hours, and keeping a straight face while standing in front of a male model and pulling up his pants. 

2. Fashion bosses (e.i. head designers, head of departments, editor-in-chiefs, creative directors, head buyers, etc) can get away with a level of eccentricity that cannot be fathomed. At one place I interned, my boss always had to have fresh flowers in her hair. Freshly-picked, every morning.

3. You'd be naive to think you'll be paid, and go home on time. And because you so badly want to make it that you don't say no. You just want to keep your head down and work. You're so enthralled to be in the presence of these people and you want them to remember you, and you don't say no because then you'll be blackballed. That's just how the industry has operated for a really long time.

4. If your boss is a total Devil Wears Prada, don't take it personally. Just do your job and then vent to all your friends (or tumblr) about it.

5. Everybody looks fabulous and has fresh, flawless skin. HOW DO THEY DO IT?! It must be a secret I have yet to learn.

6. Somebody in your intern group will be flamboyantly gay. Or have a coke problem. Or is a Satan-worshipper. Or is a total bossy-boot and act like they're the one in charge.

7. Steaming and ironing is an art form only few can master.

8. Be 10 steps ahead of your boss, otherwise you suck as an intern.

9. You cannot be starstruck. It's not cool. Feigning indifference is key. Elle McPherson is in the office? Big deal. Miranda Kerr? Miranda who? Sending dress out to Nikki Minaj? Okay, whatever.

10. Everyday is a holiday. Begin all emails with "Happy ________!!!"

11. Everything needs to be done IMMEDIATELY or the world will come to an end.

12. Everybody will hate you if you bring any fried food into the office. One time, I brought some hot chips (i.e. french fries) and gosh, did I get some serious high fashion side-eye.

13. Fashion people don't like timid people. So don't be nervous. I self-hypnotise that I am emotionally bulletproof.

14. You will make mistakes. You will make a hundred mistakes. You will get yelled at for said mistakes. You will get yelled at a hundred times. Don't quit, or you'll look weak.

15. If you don't want to waste time/energy/emotional stress, get coffee orders right the first go. If she says "steaming hot", make sure it is actually too hot to touch, and use a cup-holder to carry it.  If she says "four ice", she means "four ice cubes that are still cubes and floating, even if you have to walk a few blocks in the heat wave to deliver her non-fat iced latte."

16. People are going to gossip. Don't gossip back.

17. You need good friends that aren't necessarily in the industry that you really trust to keep you sane. Sometimes the experience is so outrageous, the kind of things interns couldn't tell their personal circles about. It's very belittling.

Symptoms of an unhealthy relationship with your cat

There won't be much of a middle ground. People will totally get it, or think I'm craycray. I'm aware, I might be CRAZYABOUTCATSOHEMGEEWHYSOCUTECRAZYCATLADY.

You worry about your cats' feelings:
I truly believe all animals have feelings. There'll be days I look at my cat Lulu and can just tell she's not in a good mood. Like, just kind of, sad, really. Maybe because last night I shrieked at her for bringing in a dead mouse which she intended as a gift, and I refused to let her in. I bet her feelings are hurt about that. And there was that time I accidentally kicked her face and she was in so much shock. I felt like crap for hours! I mean, I don't know, maybe though, right? Which makes you think that...

You wonder if your cat is being bullied, and if so, what to do about it:
Bullying is a serious problem, people! I know I saw the neighbour's cat give my cat Lily the stink eye from his balcony. I know that cat is definitely communicating some hateful and jealous stuff about Lily. It all starts with the parents! It's time for me, as Lily's aunt, and them to sit down and have a talk, as far as I'm concerned.

Your cat throws up, and you panic:
Cats throw up furballs almost all the time. But when your cat throws up, and makes that awful noise, it's like oh no oh no oh no what is happening here? Please, don't die on me! And within minutes, she's hopping around like Bambi, and taking shots of wheat grass from the pot plants.

You're jealous when your cat sleeps with other people:
Because of all the cute things they do with you at night, like cuddle up under your armpits, then crawl up and sleep on your neck, you can't help but be a little (okay, majorly) jel.

You get separation anxiety:
Sure you can go to dinner with friends, go to parties, even holidays for a week. You're having a great time, but deep inside... you're like I MISS THEM SO MUCH I WISH THEY COULD TEXT ME =(

You 'gram your cats all the time:

@callmenaomi

 

You realise you've been talking about your cats for 10 minutes non-stop to a stranger:
I could go on and on and on...

Confessions: The Turning Twenty-four Edition

1. It's the job of every twenty-somethings to feel old.

2. I'd still rather eat anything saturated with sugar for breakfast.
3. I'd trade partying with a cup of tea and a book. (Just typing that sentence made me feel so old, I swear my fingers started to feel arthritic around the words "cup of tea".)

4. I still get pimples.

5. Sometimes my body aches. Like for no apparent reason.

6. I am still looking for friends.

7. I understand more jokes. Like when I watched The Lion King recently, I got all the jokes, and the deep stuff, that I never remembered seeing.

8. I still cry. Way more.

9. People appreciate the things that make me different.

10. I realise it's all about who you know not what you know.

11. I lick my fingers to turn the pages of a book. I used to think it was gross. Now it comes naturally.

12. It's now illegal for me to drive without contacts or glasses.
13. I wake up looking like my driver's license photo. Eww.

14. I'm still completely delighted by Starbucks Christmas cups every year.

15. I have daily moments of nostalgia. Almost anything can trigger it. And it kills me.
16. I'm sad I have not taken enough risks with my youth.
17. That taut young body I once took for granted in high school is disintegrating before my eyes.

18. I've learnt that the definition of bravery is having diarrhoea and chancing a fart
19. I complain about "kids these days blah.. tween these days blah blah" (By all account, I'm not that old, but that doesn't stop me from complaining about teenagers.)
20. I've perfected the Irish goodbye. It's a move you pull when you're at a gathering/party/bar/event/etc and because you're a tired (physically & psychologically) old soul, you slink away into the corner, then RUN out the door when nobody's looking. 

Signs you seriously need more sleep

This week, I'm paying off my sleep debt, while going through painful, painful, painful caffeine withdrawals, and recovering from my consecutive all-nighters. And being a OCL (that's obsessive compulsive list-maker), I've come up with this -"Signs you seriously need more sleep". Because it was the story of my life.

1. Your under-eye dark circles luckily mistaken for a sexy, new make-up choice.
2. You confuse things with what happened in dreams two months ago.
3. Your skin feels dryer than a camel's hoof, your hair is a bird's nest, and smells like dry shampoo.
4. You eyelids feel like they're being pulled down by weights, like in cartoons.
5. You day dream that people will one day evolve from away from sleep.
6. You cry over small things, like missing the train, because you're so exhausted and frustrated.
7. Your pillow hasn't had a head-sized dent in weeks.
8. Your vision gets blurry, like Monet paintings.
9. Your brain is caffeine and sugar sodden.
10. Your nastiest guilty fantasy involves fluffy pillows, soundproof room, and passing out for uninterrupted days.
11. You think that you might just slip into a coma.
12. You're on some kind of high at 4am, and find yourself ROTFLMAO-ing at your friend's ex's friend's wedding photos on Facebook. (I swear I'm not usually that terrible of a person!)
13. You feel slightly comforted when you ask fellow students in your degree "Do you sleep?" and they respond with a quizzical frown, "Sleep? What is sleep?" #Godblessourcreativesouls 

Tweet me if this is you @K_NaomiLee

Confessions: the late 2012 vers.

1. When you believe that there's no such thing as coincidences... can't help but realise God really is good.

2. The sound of sharp scissors cutting fabric turns me on.

3. I finally get dubstep. Why did my Dre beats ear plugs have to break?!

4. Snaggle fangs/tooth and asymmetrical eyes are very attractive on a boy. Gives him character, and character is sexy.

5. I entered a competition to go on a date with Shinee.

6. Just in case I win, I'm teaching myself to beatbox, to impress them.

7. I finally understand why Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada is so cold. Heck, I might be even starting to understand Anna Wintour. I'm afraid I'm becoming aloof too. #defencemechanism

8. I've been asked out by lesbians. Truly sadly, that's one way I lose friends these days... when they ask me out.

9. When my model bailed on me and I had to desperately seek someone from my personal circle, I was slightly disappointed by the lack of tall males I know.

10. I'm bipolar. These posts should've given it away.

11. I cried with a bunch of freshmen (first year design students) in the bathroom while trying to comfort them about "not being able to see their friends for 6 months", "my friends are offended when I don't have the time". I told them it gets worse. By third year, you're a myth! I cried out of pity (for them) and my hurt because people/friends will never understand the demands. It's just the norm that people fall off the face of the earth when they get a gf/bf, or when they do a design/architecture/fashion degree.

12. I want a husband who understands.

13. My verbal skills have become subpar to ESL students because of how less talkative and expressive I've become.

14. Some people explode, I implode. 

15. I do a "head, shoulders, knees, toes - swag check" before I walk out of the house.

16. I want to run away and live with Beast. I'll have a private library in a castle, funny talking furniture, cabinetry and cutleries that'll make food for me all hours of the night while I read by the fireplace and snuggle up to the furry Beast. Plus, I've totally always related myself to Belle.

Complicated post for complicated feelings

Oh my goodness, I have so many feelings. Too many and complex to even identify. And they keep coming in like waves. I sing. I sulk. I awe. I panic. I happy sigh. I sad sigh. I laugh (at your Facebook photos. And your friends' photos. And their wedding photos. Only because I'm high on energy drinks around 2 in the afternoon, and I don't realise what a meanie-poo-face I'm being). I've been really juvenile and selfish as of late.

This post probably won't even make any common sense to you. I just feel overwhelmed with dread and weariness about life deadlines, school deadlines, email replies, personal commitments, important decisions to be made, courageous conversations to be had, judgements to brush off, lecturers to prove wrong, kilo's to lose, clothes to model, presentations to present, macbook to fix, stereotypes to break, a doctor's appointment, plus eight million other things. It’s pretty amazing how incapacitated you can get. What are you supposed to do? But what ends up happening in times like these is ironically, nothing. Like, when you’re overwhelmed and your attention is taxed, you try and run in 17 directions at once, and as is to be expected, don’t move far in any of them. So you sit and throw a tantrum, and then get distracted by Ryan Gosling's flawlessness or a sudden urge to commute to the airpot and eat eggs benedict, buy a milk steamer, and get a new piercing, only to take it out after a couple of months because "it's gets in my way". And probably get a new complicated hairstyle for complicated feelings.

It's like one moment I'm having an anxiety attack, (do you remember in Sex and the City season 4, they had to rip apart Carrie's wedding dress because she was having a panic attack and she was hyperventilating and her body suddenly erupted in rashes? It was just like that. But in a public toilet and not a wedding dress) and the next moment my eyes light up about my favourite things, and seeing The Sound of Music and Captain Von Trapp in the holidays. I love that film more than raindrops on roses, (but not more than whiskers on kittens)! Often, I heart-breakingly grieve for my loss of innocence and child-like wonder (I don't know if this is normal or it's the Peter Pan complex), then I'm eerily at peace. Followed by eye-of-the-tiger-confidence, head-butting into what I must do in life. Hence, in my moment of feeling something between glee and anticipation, I've compiled a list of books/films I have to see/read to run away from reality to read during my 3 week winter break with Bearemy.

George's Marvellous medicine, Roald Dahl
James and the Giant peach, Roald Dahl
The Perks of being a wallflower, Stephan Chbosky
The Magicians, Lev Grossman
The Stepford wives, Ira Levin
The Turn of the Screw, Henry James
Secret Window, 2004
Big Fish, 2003
Lost in translation, 2003
Up in the air, 2009
Spirited away, 2001
Zodiac, 2007
Annie Hall, 1977
Big, 1988
The English Patient, 1996
The Phantom of the Opera, 19-I-don't-know-which-Broadway-version
The Sound of Music, 1965

Winter break '12

It's just over a week until it's officially winter. Here is my approach to winter 2012.

How I will be starting off my winter break:

Hibernating with Bearemy for 2 days, to catch up on my Z's.
Physiotherapy - mouse hand RSI, neck and shoulders.

Reading 'James and the Giant Peach' by Roald Dahl.

Dropping off my CV at Marcs.

What I will be wearing this winter (default winter outfit):
Italian wool duffle coat (Cue, $549) with leather patches and gunmetal toggles and buttons. This classic outerwear taps into childhood nostalgia, and really reminds me of Carey Mulligan in 'An Education' - in other words, quintessentially British.
Black opaque tights. Black leather aviator jacket. Faux fur.

What I am looking forward to this winter:
Staying in and enjoying the comfort of music, knitting and baking. Blowing mist out of my mouth. Visits to the local library. Catching up on Mad Men. Not falling asleep 'til early morning (no, not insomnia. It's called internet connection).

What I am not looking forward to:
Cold feet. Preparing for the next semester of study. Stuffy rooms and commute (cars, buses, trains) from heater. Dry skin. Probably, longer work shifts.

Popular things I know almost nothing about

1. Klout
2. Jeremy Renner (While everyone was watching Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol in the theatres, I was watching Midnight in Paris.)
3. One Direction
4. Dubstep (I believe it's a genre of music, right? Not a dance step?)
5. The Kadashians
6. NFL, AFL, etc
7. The presidential elections in the U.S
8. New Girl (I really want to watch this series, I just haven't had the time yet.)
9. Justin Bieber
10. the gym

Playlist for every occasion

Commute playlist - I love staring out the window of a car/bus/train and pretending I’m the lead in a movie and this is the opening scene as the title credits pop up in the corner (fade up to a wide shot of a train rolling over a landscape as we slowly zoom in to see a young woman looking out the window of the third car). And I can totally pull off staring blankly out of a window.

The Candles and Bath Salts mix - You're home, maybe getting in the mood. Get some smooth music - John Mayer, and maybe Jason Mraz too - and let the mood happen.

Rainy day compilations - A mix of dreamy acoustic and melancholy alternative tunes to accompany the sound of drizzling rain.

Les filles qui chantent en français - Sing along, ingest a box of macarons, and pretend you're in a Sofia Coppola commercial.

NYC mix

For my Future Husband mix

Road Trip playlist - This is radically different from stuff you would play when you drive alone. This is socially acceptable music that's great in the background, with the occasional group sing-along thrown in, pop, rock, ballads, anything from the 90's.

Being productive mix - For when you have deadlines to meet and need to stay focused.

Holiday Harmony - Stuff to listen to while you decorate the Christmas tree or bake gingerbread cookies.

"Chrismassy music that isn't about Christmas" mix - People who work in retail will appreciate it.

ULB (or "Universally loved bands") mix - One Republic, Coldplay, Radiohead, Muse, Maroon 5, The Smith, The Fray, The Killers, you know, bands who, at any party, you could remark "I love *insert band*" and you're guaranteed to hear responses like "We do too!", you know, bands who everybody likes or claims to like.

Sing Me To Sleep playlist - Songs to help you wind down and drift off. "Wonderful" by Gary Go will lull you to sleep.

Good morning, sunshine - Waking up to music is as awesome as falling asleep to it. I'm not much of a morning person, but when I've got some great music while I'm still on autopilot, it's made early mornings so much better.

"Beautiful" mix - Includes tracks like, "What makes you beautiful" by One Direction, "Beautiful" by B2st, the same title by Christina Aguilera, "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney, "What makes you different makes you beautiful" by Backstreet Boys, "Just the way you are" by Bruno Mars, "Nothin' on you" by B.o.b, "You are so beautiful" by Junsu, "Fireworks" by Katy Perry... you get the gist. Because admit it or not, you like to be told.

Adventure: The soundtrack - Music to accompany your adventures and travels in a foreign territory.

The Unrequited Loved mix

Winter Pick Me Up mix - Upbeat songs to beat the winter blues.
Study playlist - Fact 1: Without decent music there's no way you'd get through your homework, essays and revision. Fact 2: Songs with lyrics distract the part of your brain which you use to repeat things to yourself when you're learning. The Solution: Lyricless compositions, film soundtracks and piano covers.

All Nighter mix - Unlike the Study playlist which is a bit too relaxing (because it was to help creative juices to flow), this soundtrack should consist of mid-tempo music to help you power through the wee hours. I recommend a mix of late night ambiance and study break freak out material, with broadway music like "Defying Gravity" from Wicked.

The Jazz Age playlist

Cry, baby - Tear-jerkers. Sob, let it out. Hurt right along with the music.

Old School R&B mix

Modelling playlist - Throw on some heels and walk around like you mean it. Perfect for when cleaning out your wardrobe.

60's Lounge - Inspired by Mad Men and Pan Am soundtracks.

Girl Power - Butt-kicking, girl power anthems by Shania Twain, Destiny's Child, Pink, and Christina Aguilera. Maybe something from the Charlie's Angel soundtrack too. 

Nostalgia mix

Weekend Walk About mix - Music for you wanderings.

Work out playlist

Coffee Croons and Tea Tunes

New Age Pianists mix - Yiruma, Yuhki Kuramoto, David Lanz, Keiko Matsui, Jon Schmidt, Keith Jarret, and Ryuichi Sakamoto.

Kpop mix - Because the Korean wave is taking over the world. Get with it.

British Bands mix

First Love mix - The audio equivalent of a romance novel.

Getting Dressed mix - A list of high-energy songs to get you psyched for the night out.

Party mix

"I know all the words to" mix

"Be Impressed With My Music Taste" mix - I might be alone here, but I'm constantly around hipsters and music snobs who listen to my playlist, and immediately judge me on my music taste. ("Is that Kpop?!") Now, though, I'm ready for them with my "awesomely interesting intellectual music". Staples of these playlists are MGMT, Belle & Sebastian, Pink Floyd, Grizzly Bear, Regina Spektor (both popular and yet well-respected as indie still. Go figure.) Including also any big artists who did side solo projects like Thom Yorke of Radiohead.

Films I want to see now

I remember after I had posted this list about two years ago, movie buddies started to appear from everywhere. Now I am going to try again. Anybody want to see any film on this list avec moi? Instadate me! Before I go off seeing it alone, as per usual, and you miss your chance of spending time with awesome me.


A dangerous method



Carnage



Martha Marcy May Marlene



Romantics anonymous

Tips from an expert consecutive all-nighter-er.

I am a self-proclaimed expert and experienced in pulling consecutive all-nighters, yet to people's wonder, still remain fresh-faced. In the last six days, I've only slept in my bed TWICE! I believe this isn't uncommon to people involved in design industries (there's a reason it's called architorture). So, here's my tip on successfully (yet unhealthily) hacking your sleep during those high-pressure times. But do remember that, it takes you a few days to a week, to fully recover from fatigue, and pay off sleep debt.

1. Throw everything on your bed. Anything! And the sharper or more fragile the objects, the better! So, not your cat, toilet paper, and clothing. This is so that you won't fall into the temptation of the seductress that is your bed. No cats, because during moments of insanity, which you're bound to have, you'll become mad and extremely jealous of your cat that is curling up on your very bed and feel immense self-pity. So chuck on the bed those blenders, tea pots, picture frames, suitcases, guitars, shoehorns, lamps, corn chips, iPads, scissors, etc.

2. Stock up on sugar. Eat more food to compensate for sleep deprivation. If you're not going to get energy from sleep, get it from chocolate. See Exhibit H. 

Exhibit H

3. Tell your family and friends to leave you alone. But still be active on Facebook/instagram/twitter.

4. Take 25-minute caffeine naps. No, not power naps, caffeine naps! Down an espresso and set your alarm for no more than 30 minutes. Because caffeine takes awhile to start having an affect, when you wake up the caffeine has kicked into full gear. Woo!

5. Music can be a life saver during an all nighter. Pick some music that's loud enough to keep you awake, but calm enough to not be a distraction. I also listen to empowering and encouraging Podcasts all throughout the night and morning, like "Your best days are ahead of you!"

6. Parcetamol and antihistamines are your friends. This unlikely friendship forms only because after a couple of days, fatigue brings a little stubborn friend along, the headache.

7. Colourful make-up.  Because "wow, you look tired" isn't exactly a compliment. Don bright lipstick and blush to add colour to your dull vampire skin. Et voila!

8. Always know that there's more to life than study, college, assignments, and presentations.

A little bit of my bucket list

dye my hair platinum blonde
spend Thanksgiving in the states
Songkran water festival in Thailand
have my name and picture in a magazine or newspaper
be featured in someone else's blog
live in New York City
eat pizza in Italy
kiss on the Eiffel tower
bungee jump with my boyfriend/fiancee/husband
go to a Yankee's game
become friends with numerous strangers I meet on the street, in the elevator, the check-out-chick etc
speak to young women about self-worth and identity
undergo DTS in Switzerland
speak fluent French
witness an eclipse, even better a solar eclipse
write a book
be 49kg
fly and cruise first-class
visit and sleep in a castle in England
drive down route 66
touch down in all seven continents
collect russian nesting dolls and teddy bears
have a ragdoll cat and a golden retreiver as pets
watch every movie that won the Academy Awards best picture
become an early riser
sponsor someone who makes a big breakthrough in art, religion, science, or fashion
renew wedding vows every 10 years
have a library in the house
mentor someone in the fashion industry
be acquainted with Anna Wintour
open a cafe, sell only fair-trade coffee
set slaves and prostitutes free, let's abolish human slavery!
have lots of miraculous testimonies up my sleeves
audition for Project Runway 
eat escargot (french snail dish)
start a fashion trend, or 'it' item
sponsor and financially support the seven missionaries in my family
eat cheese fondue in Sweden
count down at Times Square on New Year's eve
take acting or singing classes
style a fashion editorial for a renowned publication
sit in jury of an interesting murder case
perfect a macaron recipe
capture my 'unicorn'

This may be my bucket list, but ultimately it will not bother me if I do not kick half these buckets. What will bother and truly disturb me is, if I have lived a life that did not make a difference in this world, or speak truth into people's lives, bring joy and blessing, love and serve as many people as I could, nor lived out my calling according to God's purpose.