Friday, January 21, 2011

40 Confessions

  1. F3: Food, fashion, farts. Three things in this world that excites me.
  2. I love fashion because it is so flexible in accomodating my dreams and fantasies.
  3. Sometimes I wish I was a guy. This thought usualy crosses my mind when I walk into an amazing menswear shop, or see an incredible menswear collection.
  4. Inside me lives a classy 42 year-old woman named, Laura-Ashley Dupont, a dandy 24 year-old male, and a spoiled, gleeful 5 year old of a girl. At different times you see them manisfest. Just ask to be introduced.
  5. Also lives in me is Christ Jesus, who I hope will show through more and more, though the way I talk, think, see, and feel.
  6. I'm a bit of a man repeller. I love the sartorial fineries of clothes, which happen to repel men. I'm looking for someone who will look past what I wear. So bring on the the tie-die turban, poo-catcher pants, granny cardigans, power shoulders, nerd glasses, and shoes with 1000 buckles! There is a lot of things in my wardrobe that women adore and men abhor, perfect to me, yet incomprehensible to the average male specimen. 
  7. I seem to have no shame in publicly announcing my bowel movements (or lack thereofs), my monthly flows, my monster feeds, and its side effects (breathlessness, food coma, and underwear elastics digging into my skin).
  8. Men in ill-fitting suits really bother me with a passion. But a perfectly fitted suit is a breath of fresh air, and there is absolutely nothing gay about it. Think James Bond, or Tom Ford.
  9. I have an odd personal belief that take-away coffee, or thermal mug, makes a cool fashion statement, and holding one in your hand, strutting your way somewhere, is the finishing touch to a "I'm so hip/cool/popular/busy" look. Due to my clumsiness I have coffee stains in clothes that are expensive to dry-clean.
  10. I'd like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it feels like to be a dinasaur. Rah.
  11. One day, I want to sit next to a stranger on a park bench, on a peaceful, sunny afternoon and hear their life story-Forest Gump-style.
  12. I'm not attracted to men who play saxaphones. I'm repelled. There, I said it! Woo me instead, with your guitar or piano.
  13. Another way to my heart is through my stomach.
  14. I have a soft spot for well-dressed, long, lean, limbs, if you know what I mean.
  15. I'm a creepy bookworm that keeps a book in the kitchen, a book next to the bed, and another book in my the bathroom so I can read wherever I am in the house. Hence, I tend to simultaneously read them, and finish about three books in five days.
  16. I have French vocab 'post-it' notes all over my house. Parce que, j'adore apprendre le francais. Et toi?
  17. The 1940's is my favourite fashion era. I wish everyone still dressed that way. Polished, prim and pretty.
  18. I treat my teddy-bears especially well because I can imagine them come alive and talking to each other when I'm asleep, and having their picnic when I'm away. I've placed tea cup and tea pots on my bookshelf for this very reason.
  19. I will go to Switzerland just to devour their cheese and chocolate, and sit by the fire drinking hot chocolate in a cosy log cabin.
  20. I love awkward moments and pinching peoples’ butts in big crowds, and burping in their ears.I sometimes like to think that I’m on some reality tv show and 'interview' myself. Apparently that's been coined the Truman Syndrome.
  21. Sometimes when people tell me jokes or try to be really funny, I often do the pity laugh and hope they can’t tell it’s fake. This happens often.
  22. When my room is messy, I find stuff easier than when it is neat and tidy.
  23. When I am not smiling, I tend to look stern or lost. I have no control over that.
  24. For some reason I really enjoy talking about poo. I like asking people about their poo, I like poop jokes. I've even written songs and peoms about them.
  25. As much as I like poop jokes, I like fart jokes.
  26. You'd have no idea, but at home, I dress like a homeless woman. Don't expect me to answer the door.
  27. I think I'm allergic to drastic temperature changes. I develop red spots. I'm also allergic to alcohol. I think it's a blessing.
  28. I like going into my brother's room to jump on his bed. (Oh, never my bed. God no, not my sanctuary.) I'd jump until the springs would poke through the mattress, then I'd run and hide. Then'll I'd forget all about it. Only until he has to get a new mattres. 
  29. After I blow my nose I secretly look into the tissue. Sometimes flubber, sometimes egg whites. It's just interesting. Don't lie, you've done it too.
  30. I consider myself to have a bit of a Peter Pan complex.
  31. I bite.
  32. I am addicted to writing and making lists, I can't not do it for two days, because I start to crave in.
  33. I'd love to know what Demi did, when she flirted with Ashton Kutcher. Just curious.
  34. Love, goodness, faithfulness, kindness, gentleness, self-control, patience, joy, and peace. I aim for these to be one day be IN YA FACE.
  35. I sound real retarted in person. I don't speak the way I think/write/type. I think I'm just awkward and verbally expressing myself.
  36. My wise older brother once taught me, "an open mouth gathers many feet."
  37. My favourite weather is grey, cloudy, chilly days, with drizzles of rain. I love its sound and scent. And there's something about the way everything looks after the rain.
  38. I believe in life eternal after death. The life that I have now is too short. I want to do what I enjoy. 
  39. I'm an onion. Like Shrek, I have many layers. I don't look like a lot of things that I am, if you know what I mean.
  40. =/ is an awesome emoticon. I use it liberally.

4 comments:

sam said...

Very entertaining~
To bad I read out all in one go..
Now write more during your trip to keep me occupied!

I already knew most of these things about you.

Makes me feel special to know your inner kiddy self. Rah.

stephanie said...

I would more than love to meet ur 42 year old women n man inside u! xD

praise said...

love your writings cuz.
had a good laugh thanks to you =]
keep at it !
God bless

Anonymous said...

Haha told you! F3! =D

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