The idealist in me

Being an idealist is hard. Sometimes, or many times, even heart breaking. Especially when people bursts your "bubble". Last time this happened, was a couple of weeks ago, and I decided to walk home crying in the rain. I even lied I was getting a lift, because I needed that alone time. (It conveniently happened to pour down bucketfuls that evening! And it was quite comforting.) I have a struggle to see reality for what it is, and the idealist within me feels insulted by the challenge that it is not seeing reality for what it is.

Being ever the intuitive dreamer, I had a saying that made my friends chuckle -"reality is overrated". (Reality, then pays revenge by slapping me in the face.) I often feel a sense of separation, and am misunderstood being childish and even stupid, because I find it difficult to deal with hard facts, logic and impersonal judgements.

"Good enough" is another theme that makes the idealistic side of me cringe. It's a concept I have been struggling with, but is the only concept I have found that brings me peace. Another concept that goes hand in hand with idealism is perfectionist, so you perfectionists might understand what I am talking about, as much as the idealists do.

This is why every project I take on disappoints me. I got into creative work because I know I have good taste. But there is this "gap" that frustrates me. What I do is good, has potential, but it's not. But my taste is still pretty awesome! Hence, I'm disappointed in myself. Sometimes, I never get past this phase and lose motivation, and quit. It explains the reason I'm failing at the moment. Or sometimes I don't try too hard, or put my heart into things I do. That way, I won't be as disappointed.

I have trouble completing tasks because it cannot meet my standards. I also have problems working on a project in a group, because my standards are different, and I end up giving up my ideas for the harmony of the group, avoiding any conflict.

So what does this mean for the future of the idealist side of myself? It's tough to negotiate with a part of me that doesn't want to negotiate. I'd wish to end this post by saying I have it figured out. But I really don't. But you know what? I can't help thinking this could somehow be my greatest strength, if God made it to be.

Popular things I know almost nothing about

1. Klout
2. Jeremy Renner (While everyone was watching Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol in the theatres, I was watching Midnight in Paris.)
3. One Direction
4. Dubstep (I believe it's a genre of music, right? Not a dance step?)
5. The Kadashians
6. NFL, AFL, etc
7. The presidential elections in the U.S
8. New Girl (I really want to watch this series, I just haven't had the time yet.)
9. Justin Bieber
10. the gym

Not caring about what people think of you

Not caring what people think is the hokey pokey to getting through each and every day. I think not caring about what people think comes after liking yourself. I'm not exactly sure but I think learning to do either will help with the other. I don’t feel like the most qualified person to talk about this, but I don’t know what it would take to be the most qualified. 

I really respect people who wear what they want because, in order for this to work, you have to be courageous. Or at least, at first, appear to be. (I have to, like, brainwash myself a little bit sometimes.) You have to challenge anyone who gives you a funny look with a look of your own. Or don’t acknowledge them at all, and they’ll stand there a little dumbfounded. Maybe eventually they will grow up and realize how stupid it is to care about how other people look, and expect people to care that they care. If someone comments on your horn-rimmed glasses, or cheek piercings, you don’t have to take it personally. If they glare at your polka-dot bell-bottoms, who cares. They're the ones who didn't recognise a Lanvin vintage. Do you know what I'm saying? It's also ignorance.

I think most people are afraid of taking risks in dressing and styling because they’re afraid people will be like, “OH, SO YOU’RE ALL ARTSY NOW?” Nobody will say this if you act like it’s no big deal. What such people don’t get is that most people who wear outfits that stand out, or is different to what everyone else is wearing, or wear vintage clothes don’t think of themselves as artsy, they’re just exploring and trying to define their taste instead of being someone who likes whatever is handed to them for fear of being mistaken for pretentious. 


People are afraid of trying to be creative because they’re afraid that they won’t succeed, but who said your “success” in getting dressed has to be evaluated by other people? As long as you’re into what you’re wearing and it makes you more comfortable with yourself, it doesn’t matter if someone else thinks you’ve put together a perfectly composed outfit or not. Actually, the effect of your confidence will only add to how stylish your outfit seems. It’s like the best catch-22 ever!

It's no wonder I'm so attracted to people who dress 'different' or even, outrageously, and doesn't care if he's got a red bowl-cut or a grey mohawk! And shallow, narrow-minded people who judge others and put them in boxes based on how they look really push my buttons.


Anyways. It will always be harder to get to be someone who doesn’t care about what people think, but that’s why you’re a tiny little awesome warrior for even trying. And isn’t that kind of exciting? Go forth, tiny warrior, and conquer!

Playlist for every occasion

Commute playlist - I love staring out the window of a car/bus/train and pretending I’m the lead in a movie and this is the opening scene as the title credits pop up in the corner (fade up to a wide shot of a train rolling over a landscape as we slowly zoom in to see a young woman looking out the window of the third car). And I can totally pull off staring blankly out of a window.

The Candles and Bath Salts mix - You're home, maybe getting in the mood. Get some smooth music - John Mayer, and maybe Jason Mraz too - and let the mood happen.

Rainy day compilations - A mix of dreamy acoustic and melancholy alternative tunes to accompany the sound of drizzling rain.

Les filles qui chantent en français - Sing along, ingest a box of macarons, and pretend you're in a Sofia Coppola commercial.

NYC mix

For my Future Husband mix

Road Trip playlist - This is radically different from stuff you would play when you drive alone. This is socially acceptable music that's great in the background, with the occasional group sing-along thrown in, pop, rock, ballads, anything from the 90's.

Being productive mix - For when you have deadlines to meet and need to stay focused.

Holiday Harmony - Stuff to listen to while you decorate the Christmas tree or bake gingerbread cookies.

"Chrismassy music that isn't about Christmas" mix - People who work in retail will appreciate it.

ULB (or "Universally loved bands") mix - One Republic, Coldplay, Radiohead, Muse, Maroon 5, The Smith, The Fray, The Killers, you know, bands who, at any party, you could remark "I love *insert band*" and you're guaranteed to hear responses like "We do too!", you know, bands who everybody likes or claims to like.

Sing Me To Sleep playlist - Songs to help you wind down and drift off. "Wonderful" by Gary Go will lull you to sleep.

Good morning, sunshine - Waking up to music is as awesome as falling asleep to it. I'm not much of a morning person, but when I've got some great music while I'm still on autopilot, it's made early mornings so much better.

"Beautiful" mix - Includes tracks like, "What makes you beautiful" by One Direction, "Beautiful" by B2st, the same title by Christina Aguilera, "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney, "What makes you different makes you beautiful" by Backstreet Boys, "Just the way you are" by Bruno Mars, "Nothin' on you" by B.o.b, "You are so beautiful" by Junsu, "Fireworks" by Katy Perry... you get the gist. Because admit it or not, you like to be told.

Adventure: The soundtrack - Music to accompany your adventures and travels in a foreign territory.

The Unrequited Loved mix

Winter Pick Me Up mix - Upbeat songs to beat the winter blues.
Study playlist - Fact 1: Without decent music there's no way you'd get through your homework, essays and revision. Fact 2: Songs with lyrics distract the part of your brain which you use to repeat things to yourself when you're learning. The Solution: Lyricless compositions, film soundtracks and piano covers.

All Nighter mix - Unlike the Study playlist which is a bit too relaxing (because it was to help creative juices to flow), this soundtrack should consist of mid-tempo music to help you power through the wee hours. I recommend a mix of late night ambiance and study break freak out material, with broadway music like "Defying Gravity" from Wicked.

The Jazz Age playlist

Cry, baby - Tear-jerkers. Sob, let it out. Hurt right along with the music.

Old School R&B mix

Modelling playlist - Throw on some heels and walk around like you mean it. Perfect for when cleaning out your wardrobe.

60's Lounge - Inspired by Mad Men and Pan Am soundtracks.

Girl Power - Butt-kicking, girl power anthems by Shania Twain, Destiny's Child, Pink, and Christina Aguilera. Maybe something from the Charlie's Angel soundtrack too. 

Nostalgia mix

Weekend Walk About mix - Music for you wanderings.

Work out playlist

Coffee Croons and Tea Tunes

New Age Pianists mix - Yiruma, Yuhki Kuramoto, David Lanz, Keiko Matsui, Jon Schmidt, Keith Jarret, and Ryuichi Sakamoto.

Kpop mix - Because the Korean wave is taking over the world. Get with it.

British Bands mix

First Love mix - The audio equivalent of a romance novel.

Getting Dressed mix - A list of high-energy songs to get you psyched for the night out.

Party mix

"I know all the words to" mix

"Be Impressed With My Music Taste" mix - I might be alone here, but I'm constantly around hipsters and music snobs who listen to my playlist, and immediately judge me on my music taste. ("Is that Kpop?!") Now, though, I'm ready for them with my "awesomely interesting intellectual music". Staples of these playlists are MGMT, Belle & Sebastian, Pink Floyd, Grizzly Bear, Regina Spektor (both popular and yet well-respected as indie still. Go figure.) Including also any big artists who did side solo projects like Thom Yorke of Radiohead.

Super snazzy old European men

If there's one thing we need borrow from Europe, other than long lazy lunches, because 30 minutes for work lunch break is torture (resulting in indigestion and a burned oesophagus), is well-dressed dapper older men. These gentlemen really put us to shame. Is there anything more happy-sigh inducing than seeing a distinguished older gentleman with his salt and pepper hair, in a perfectly tailored suit, biking around in the afternoon to do some errands? Maybe when his purple socks match his paisley pocket square, and his tortoise-shell glasses perfectly frame his face. Everything about snazzily put-together old men is awesome, mostly because it still seems a bit whimsical to me. There is something so nostalgic about it, despite me never having lived in a time or geographic location where retired men dressing like that was the norm. It's as rare as seeing a unicorn, here in Australia! And if you ever catch them gathered together in a park on a sunny aprés midi, sipping wine and reading the papers, or playing chess, your heart will explode.

Films I want to see now

I remember after I had posted this list about two years ago, movie buddies started to appear from everywhere. Now I am going to try again. Anybody want to see any film on this list avec moi? Instadate me! Before I go off seeing it alone, as per usual, and you miss your chance of spending time with awesome me.


A dangerous method



Carnage



Martha Marcy May Marlene



Romantics anonymous

Mixtape: Being productive

I tend to put mandatory tasks off until I’m out of time and running around, stressed and grumpy in a The Devil Wears Prada kind of way. “I don’t have time for this!” I might yell to my assistant. "And where is my skim double-caff extra-whip latte?!” "I need someone to babysit Bearemy tonight!" (I like pretending to have a personal assistant.)

I tend to find every little thing distracting and way more interesting. And everyone seems to be having a good time, according to Facebook. Staying focused and self-disciplined is not my best quality. I'm a pro procrastinator. Yet, somehow I've discovered that by playing the music, I have an easier time being productive. It’s similar to how some babies stop crying when you turn the vacuum on. I have deadlines to meet, so ciao! P.S I just spent the last hour on Facebook and making this playlist, while I could've done some research. Yep, that's me.

001 SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS :: Dylan and Victoria
002 ROMEO AND JULIET :: The Killers
003 NEW SLANG :: The Shins
004 HE DOESN'T KNOW WHY :: Fleet Foxes
005 DISTRICT SLEEPS ALONE TONIGHT :: Postal Service
006 IN THE ROOM WHERE YOU SLEEP :: Dead Man's Bones
007 HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN :: Jenny Owen Youngs
008 GREY OR BLUE :: Jaymay
009 CALAMITY SONG :: The Decemberists
010 HIGH AND DRY :: Radiohead
011 NO CARS GO :: Maxine Cyrine (Arcade Fire cover)
012 UNINTENDED :: Muse
013 SET A FIRE :: United Pursuit
014 BLESSED :: Hillsong
015 PILEDRIVER WALKTZ :: Arctic Monkeys
016 SPARKS :: Coldplay
017 LIFE IN TECHNICOLOR II :: Coldplay
018 BLUE :: Big Bang
019 FICTION :: B2ST
020 BUTTERFLY :: G-Dragon
021 SHE'S ELECTRIC :: Oasis
022 THE SWEET ESCAPE :: Gwen Stafani
023 CLOSE TO ME :: The Cure

2012 Fall designer looks I want to recreate.

I've been very uninspired the last few weeks. The fact of the matter is, I've reach that seasonal (or trans-seasonal) point when it's too soon to whole-heartedly indulge in layering, leather, and fur. As it happens, I've just been going back to a safe combination of black jeans, t-shirt, collared shirt, and oxford shoes.

During my 4 hour tutorial this morning, instead of dumbing down designer apparel for a lower-priced market, which was what we were supposed to do, I was discreetly going through the Fall collections from Paris Fashion Week on style.com on my laptop (nodding every now and then to show I was listening to the lecturer). Fortunately, temperatures are FINALLY dropping Down Under, as indicated by my wearing of opaque tights today, and Fashion Weeks came to pass. And so I really can't wait to be recreating designer looks by Charlotte Ronson, Paul Smith, Dsquared2, Isabel Marent and Frankie Morello this season! Super duper excited!

Sources: fashionising.com, style.com

Monthly Recap: February '12

It's back. My monthly highlights and laundry lists of just random things and stories that is quintessentially me so that I can laugh at myself or indulge in a little self-pity. Because I'm just good at making lists.

Music stuck on repeat:

• Ne me quitte pas - Regina Spektor
• Be be your love - Racheal Yamagata
• Undisclosed desires - Muse
• Transatlantism - Death Cab for Cutie
• Crooked teeth - Death Cab for Cutie
• Back in time - Lyn

Laundry list of things memorable about the month:

• Announcement of the cancellation of House. Devo. I don't think this news has sunk in entirely. Saying goodbye after 8 years ain't going to be easy, although not a hard as dealing with the tragedy that was the end of Friends. 
• Romantic Valentine's day evening on the grass gazing at stars, while eating chocolate dipped strawberries. Coming home, I thought, the only way it could've been lonelier is if the internet stopped working.
• Seeing "The Artist" at a local cinema by myself early one glorious sunny Sunday morning.
• Lulu, my sister cat, is preggers! Yay, kitten-nieces and kitten-nephews soon!
• Death Cab for Cutie in Sydney.
• New iPhone 4s. White.
• Robocop movie marathon. (I'm excited about the Robocop remake!)
• Making plans to elope to New York city after I graduate.
• I really do miss NY.
• Linsanity.
• New professeur de français. Enjoying awkward yet amusing French lessons with a fob frenchman.
• My mom practically memorising the French alphabet due to my daily annoying singing of "c'est l'alphabet en Français!"
• The dreaded end of holidays. Back to school. Oh, the joy of getting up early for a 8am class.
• I went shopping with a gay friend of mine, who actually is super Vogue intern skinny, and saw him try on an XL t-shirt. On his waifish body, it actually resembled Olsen-twin-chic, but on me it just looked puffy and strange. Seeing him swim around in the shirt like a jellyfish, I realised that's what it was supposed to look like. Lesson learned.
• Goodbye summer. Goodbye to days where the weather sticks to your body like glue, and you complain about the humidity to anyone who will listen, because it's what you're supposed to do.
• Heeeeeeeelllooooo autumn!

Book(s) reading:

• The Help - Katherine Stockett

Currently obsessed with:

• BOOM!! SHAKALAKA!!! *fangirl mode*
• The moon that embraces the Sun. I'm so emotionally attached to this series and the characters that I almost explode from waiting for it to air every week. (FYI, exploding fangirls are one of the most dangerous creatures in the world after the boxed jellyfish and the king cobra!)
• Kenzo, Burberry Prorsum, Marcs by Marc Jacobs and Carven's Fall 2012 collection at Paris fashion week.
• The 1960's. Mad Men! Pan Am! Also, conveniently this season's fashion trend!
• Cue Clothing Co's winter campaign.
• Improvising cookie recipes.

Three things I'm thankful for:

• Pre-mix cupcake/ cookie mixes at supermarkets
• www.solarmovie.au
• Jeremy Lin

Mixtape: Les filles qui chantent en français

Confession: a part of the reason I learned French in the first place is because singing along to these songs just looks so fun, like Carey Mulligan's character in An Education (beautiful film with a charming soundtrack). I like ingesting a box of pretty macarons, and pretend I'm in a Sofia Coppola commercial.

001 SUR LE QUAIS DU VIEUX PARIS :: Juliette Gréco

002 SOUS LE CIEL DE PARIS :: Juliette Gréco

003 L'ADDORDEONISTE :: Edith Piaf

004 LA VIE EN ROSE :: Edith Piaf

005 NON, JE NE REGRET RIENNE :: Edith Piaf
006 DANS MA RUE :: Zaz
007 LA PLUIE :: Zaz
008 LA FEE :: Zaz
009 ROUSE-ROUSE :: Christie Laume
010 C'EST LA MODE :: Annie Phillippe
011 SYMPATHIQUE :: Pink Martini
012 C'EST PETITE RIENS :: Colbie Caillat
013 MOI JE JOUE :: Bridgitte Bardot
014 EN DOUCE : Baquette Quartet
015 PÊCHES A LA CRÈME :: Dorine
016 COMME UN GARÇON :: Sylvie Varton
017 LAISSE TOMBER LES FILLES :: France Gall
018 LE TEMPS DE L'AMOUR :: Francois Hardy
019 ROLLER GIRL :: Anna Karina
020 LAISSE MOU :: Chantal Goya
021 LA MER OPALE :: Coralie Clément
022 ONDULÉ :: Matthieu Boogaert
023 EXPRESSION :: Helen Jane Long

Unless you love

I love e.e. cummings,
I love a cupcake run for breakfast,
I love movie marathons with my mum,
I love hugging people to make their day,
And I love Jesus.