Monday, September 26, 2011


Dear Ryan Gosling,
You have to stop. Stop being so Ryan Gosling. Stop making all the girls go giggly! In all your films,  you have this look like that woman is the most important thing in the universe. You only have nice things to say about ex-girlfriends Sandra Bullock and Rachel McAdams. You also say the best things ever about your female co-stars. Stop being so you, Ryan Gosling. You are a life-ruiner! 
What a hero! Swoon!
Dear haughty, ungrateful, rude, arrogant, selfish, inconsiderate, disrespectful, insolent twat, 
Sometimes I think, "Why even bother ?" just want to leave you and your life filled with lonely, friendless birthdays. But you know what? I believe unkind people need kindness the most. So I will continue to remember you birthdays.

Dear music man,
Thank you. Normally I'd think you were annoying, but it was a long day, and hearing Hawk Nelson's "Live life loud" at a volume that made me worry about your hearing rejuvenated me on my commute home.

Dear Justin Timberlake,
I liked you better when you made music.

Dear God,
You are so undeniably real and you're just CRAZY.

Dear self,
Sometimes it’s important to have faith in yourself and know that you’re doing the best you can and that’s the best anyone will ever do. You’re doing so much better than you even realize. So live it up and enjoy it!

Dear future husband,
I’m sorry about a lot of things you will have to deal with, the least of which include my singing out of tune and sticking anything I can find into my ears. I hope there are a few things that balance it all out. I will make you lemon meringue pie, I promise! And I will appreciate you not divorcing me for not being able to let go of Bearemy (my teddy-bear of a son) and Ryan Gosling.

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