Sunday, October 16, 2011


Dear girl quietly pooing in the next cubicle,
Go for it, poo your heart out. I promise I won't judge you. It's really weird. We all do it, and we all know we do it, yet we allow it to isolate us. As a human race, we must come together and banish our shame. One for all. All for pooooooo!

Dear Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore,
Come on guys, work it out! You two practically started the 'cougar trend'. If you split the whole trend will go bust, and guys will go back to dating people their own age. That's just going to tighten the girl supply. And I'm not getting any younger, alright!
Dear ready-for-summertime babes,
As I sweat my face off and looking like a gross red blotchy monster, you walk past me looking flawless in your short shorts and tank tops. Hmmph!

Dear Open-door women,
I think you're all such rare and precious gems. If I were a guy, I'd date you all, and would have a hard time picking which one to marry, because you're all so beautiful inside out! God is so good to put you in my life!

Dear quiet emo boy,
Where are you? Where have you been all semester?

Dear future husband,
I can't believe you want to hang out with me for life. Thank you for being the person out there that actually wants to talk to me every night, support my Harry Potter and Chronicles of Narnia re-reading habits, piggy-back me to the toilet when I ceebs to use my legs, and adore my cackling laugh.

Dear God,
You have won me over! Yet again.

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