Why can't you ever be subtle? Always bringing ugly break outs and PMS along with you. PMS = Psychotic Mood Shift, Poor Me Syndrome, Pain Misery Suffering, Potential Murder Suspect.
Dear business man I hurt his privates with my nuisance of an A2 portfolio case,
I'm so sorry, I cannot imagine the suffering I caused you. And I guess I never will. You told me, while bent over holding on to your crotch with a pained expression, to be careful I don't jab anyone else on the you-know-where, and I was after that incident. I don't swing my arms anymore. I should've learnt my lesson previously when I accidentally knocked a little kid over.
If I was a menswear designer, I'd cast you right away to wear my range. You might even be my style/model muse, like Erin Wasson is to Alexander Wang. You have definitely perfected the Art of the Pants Roll like a true dapper. We have yet to converse, which I don't see it happening any time soon. Whether that might be a fortunate thing I do ponder.
Thank you for telling me that I looked really nice. I'm glad you understand and appreciate the sock-and-sandals trend and the female-dandy trend. Your compliments made me feel less daggy for the rest of the day.
Be of good cheer.
Dear future husband,
I doubt you have problems with public speaking, but I have mega stage-fright. And I've come to realise it helps if you think everybody likes you. (The classic "picture them in underwear" technique stumbles me.) This is the same in the world. Know that you are favoured. You are preferred. You are delighted in. You are liked. If you are ever facing hardship, remember that the best is yet to come, because you are favoured. The indicator of favour is not having 'stuff' nor popularity nor success. Don't let circumstances, situations and problems make you forget the truth. This is for me too.