Dear girl who kept staring at me on the train this morning,
What the freak? I looked and you just continued to stare. I looked away and I could still feel your glare. What's wrong with you? Do you have a problem? I turn and we make the longest eye-contact. Though out the whole ride, and even as I was getting off my stop, your eyes were on me. You creep. If I had a death stare like Tiffany's I would have used it against you.
Dear Harry Potter anti-fans and those who made fun of my Harry Potter geeky-ness,
Thank you loyal readers for following my blog posts. Did you know, you cannot hum while holding your nose at the same time? Hmmmmmmmm. I bet you just tried to.
Dear Posh & Becks,
I've seen it all in tabloids. No, please don't break up! Work it out. Because I still have faith in Hollywood marriages!
Dear extremely good-looking boy,
I have a deep and secret fear that one day you'll come across my blog and discover all these posts about you. That would be the end of my life. Unless you are flattered and start talking to me. Wait, that would still be the end of my life because of my social disability, I wouldn't know what to say. I really dread it. In the mean time, thanks to you I write quite the entertaining posts.
Dear Asian James Franco,
Revenge is a dish best served cold. I don't honestly know what this quote means, but I've just always wanted to say it. At least you know what your friends been thinking of you, a queer! Ha.
Dear Australia's Next top model winner Amanda,
Congratulations! I voted for you with my phone, my mum's phone, my dad's phone, and then my housemate's phone. You look more the part of an international high fashion model than the other girls. Australia represent! Although, Kelsey is amazing too.
Starting from tomorrow, this is the new weight-loss plan. Drink lots of coffee and chai lattes (skim milk). Eat spicy food. Play computer games. Pull all-nighters. Carry heavy hand bags. Stretch, fidget and laugh a lot. All scientifically proven to fasten metabolic rate. Temporarily.